So relaxed… until now (and stuff on physics)
The last three days have been probably the most relaxed I’ve had since the summer holidays of 2003–2004. They’re probably the most relaxed I will have until the summer of 2007. And yes, I am quite fully aware that this year is 2005.
Technically, my holidays haven’t started yet — they will start on the 10th of December, after my last exam. But even my holidays aren’t as relaxed as this. I’ve spent much of my holidays in the past two years catching up on work and completing other tasks on a long to-do list that never actually gets completed. My to-do list for this summer is growing long already.
Compare that to the last three days, where I’ve done practically nothing. You see, I’m not really allowed to do anything except prepare for this physics exam because it’s, well, the middle of exams, and I shouldn’t really be doing anything of purpose except preparing for them. And, just quietly, I’ve been somewhat confident about this one — physics is by some margin my best subject and this year’s results have smiled at me much more than my other subjects. So, reluctant to study and not being allowed to tackle other things I have to do, I’m essentially left to do nothing.
It’s brilliant. I wish all my holidays were like this. Just a few days where I can do nothing, absolutely nothing. I haven’t been stressing, or thinking productively, or anything of the sort. I’ve been completely relaxed, unoccupied, and well, not worrying at all about this physics exam.
Preparing for physics
Well, I was relaxed. Today, I did the final step in my very brief preparation for this physics exam — I completed the 2003 paper. And, well, things didn’t quite go like I hoped they would. I was far from the four excellences I was hoping for, swapping two for merits and scraping the other two only because the judgement statements had been lowered significantly to get the statistics (the 2003 candidates clearly did very poorly). My explanations were, all of a sudden, seemingly hopeless — missing key words like "angle of infraction" and "perpendicular to the object’s path". Some of the stuff, I could swear, I didn’t even know.
I felt like I was doing chemistry. Like they wanted random stuff that I have never thought about, because I thought it was a given. Looking at the answer again, they’re still the logical, concise explanations that had carried me so bumplessly throughout this year. I just couldn’t do them.
It looks as if I’ll be doing my list of pointers to put up on my wall for physics, too. At first I thought they would only be necessary for English, then I find myself writing them for chemistry and French, and then I realise how invariably useless I am at physics too. It’s a bit demotivating, really, realising this all last-minute after surfing the year on a high wave.
Well, you know what, I was fatigued when I did this paper, and I probably wasn’t thinking properly, and I’ll probably be okay in the actual exam. But then, I shouldn’t really take the chance. And, frankly, I’m not that confident anymore.