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My best answers from this year’s exams

I’ve compiled this list of the best things during external examinations this year — some creeped in from dehydration, others from lack of preparation or time or just sheer stupidity. All will have their cost.

"x = 1.284, therefore, 1 t-shirt will maximise profit."
from Calculus 3.1 Differentiation, a merit question.
x was in thousands of t-shirts. If one sale maximises profit then the whole thing’s a waste of time, obviously. I was wondering why the answer looked so unrealistic…

"So the entire argument is meaningless, really…"
from English 1.6 Unfamiliar Texts, text A.
When you don’t know what on earth’s going on, just say anything! I mean, who cares about the references to war, they’re not important…

"Al3+(aq) + 3e —> Al(l)"
from Chemistry 2.7 Oxidation-Reduction, question two.
I somehow concluded that dissolved aluminium ions would be reduced in favour of hydrogen — in my defence, the question did say aluminium metal was a product!

"Disez à la classe, s’il vous plaît, que je leur manque…"
from French 1.6 Writing, topic (d).
In this bid to impress the marker with some fancy advanced language, I advertently made a fool of myself. Rough translation: "Tell the class for me, please, that they miss me." The "disez" is completely wrong (the word does not exist), it should be "dites".

from Physics 2.5 Radioactivity, question one.
How I managed to conclude that a particle with atomic number 1 has no protons and is neutrally charged, and hence a neutron, I have no idea.

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