Should be stressed, but not feeling it
Three friends and I paid a visit to one of our deputy principals yesterday. It was for two of them to pick something up, and we had a pool on, by a scale of one to ten, how stressed he was. One of us said eleven, another said infinity-plus-one, I made my call of infinity-divided-by-two, and the remaining one of us guessed five.
After confirming that one was the lowest and ten the highest (and that he was allowed to go off the scale), he told us, “Low.” Whether or not he caught my surprised look I don’t know, but he explained: “I should be very stressed, but I’m not feeling it.” Alas, the only of us that actually guessed on the scale had won. (He was still demanding his prize this morning, so this seems a timely point to publicly acknowledge his success and declare for him, indeed, respect.)
It was at that point where I realised our deputy principal’s explanation, in a way, befitted me. My stress levels should be off the charts. After all, ponder the list: four level 3 subjects which include a year-long technology project, a university maths paper with weekly assignments, training for the International Chemistry Olympiad, a correspondence maths course, trying to organise an effective student council, coaching a junior basketball team, being the student representative to the board of trustees, initiating what might be the relaunch of our school orchestra, hockey, debating, jazz combo, house committee. I have long ago given up completing economics and French homework. I simply have more productive ways of spending my time.
I’m just not feeling it. It’s rather difficult to elaborate on this concept. I have, in the past four months, settled into a routine of use-all-your-time-to-do-something-productive. But for the past few days, I’ve met moments where I didn’t know what I should be doing. Perhaps I have become so stressed that I am no longer motivated; perhaps it’s because nothing’s due tomorrow and I don’t have any internal assessments until week nine (I like telling people that).
I run the risk of implying I’m alone in my position. In its extremity, I will concede but a small chance, but in principle, I would never claim such uniqueness (aside from the no-internals-for-seven-weeks bit). I do have lots to do. We all do.
Hence the vastly diminished frequency of these blog posts. One-and-a-half years ago I was posting every four days; now I’m barely making thrice a month. In a certain light, I’m stressed enough (as the observant will notice) to put my stress-meter up to the fifth step. In another, I’m relaxed enough to be writing this blog.